From FedEx to Freedom: A Journey of Pursuing Dreams and Finding Happiness

Is it possible to leave a stable job, to chase your dreams, and find happiness? This episode chronicles a remarkable journey that started from a FedEx office to pursuing passions and dreams. Tune in as I share the exhilarating yet terrifying story of leaving the security of a job at FedEx behind to embrace the unknown and follow my heart. Hear about the overwhelming opportunities, the intoxicating freedom, and the struggle to stay present amidst past trauma. 

Finding joy in the journey, not just the destination, is key as we explore the notion that success can’t be measured against the progress of others. I share my personal experiences of the bumpy road to realizing my dreams, including the inevitable failures and the importance of accepting them as a part of the growth process. In a significant career leap, I transition from FedEx to a gig in social media, with all its inherent challenges and blessings. Additionally, I express the need for support, whether it's subscribing to the podcast, following our Instagram, or leaving reviews. Join me as I navigate this transformative phase of life, and hopefully inspire you to chase your dreams too.

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Hey guys, this is going to be a different kind of. I'm on the road right now. I'm headed to. I have a new gig doing, I guess, like social media work, marketing work, kind of a kind of like a big step forward, right, just something I've been wanting to do and it has me. It has me nervous because I want to do good at something I love doing and it's scary because I put myself in these situations or I just I don't know how I get there. Right, I really don't like looking back at at my life and going from like literally like when I really put it down on paper and I write it down and I have thrown it down and it blows my mind sometimes of how I'm still, how I'm able to still like be happy, so like going from FedEx to fighting, to coaching, to quitting coaching altogether and jumping into. I had no plan after I left strike. I had no plan whatsoever. I just said you know what this isn't for me at the moment and I said I'm going to take a chance. I'm going to take a chance with myself. And who would have known? Who would have known? Who would have known it would have been? It's been tough. It's almost been a year. It's been tough but it's. There's so many doors and avenues that have opened up to me to me to figure out what I'm going to do with my life and and this whole social media gig that I'm doing. It is another door open, like I have. I have so many things happening right now that it is overwhelming, but it's, it's good, like it's good to feel busy and overwhelming. I'll never forget.

Speaker 1: 2:22

I do another podcast. I produce another podcast called it's about. It's about recovery and addiction it's not so anonymous with EJ Eureka and he was interviewing Chris, chris Liebben, and Chris Liebben was Chris Liebben. He's an MMA fighter. He's fought all over the world. He's he's a legend of the sport. He's a super famous guy, super famous guy in his prime. And he was talking about how, how he was he's overwhelmed. It's a lot and life is a lot. And when he was fighting and all that stuff, his phone was blowing up. But when he was in the middle of his addiction, when he was in the middle of his addiction, there was his phone wasn't ringing, his phone wasn't going, wasn't like turning, like wasn't getting any phone calls at all. And then, once he started getting recovered and going through rehab and his phone started blowing up and people want him like need him for stuff or for coaching, whatever he just says. It's overwhelming.

Speaker 1: 3:52

But it feels good basically and I'm not saying I'm famous and I have all these people hit me up it's not that it's that I'm busy and I'm living life and this feels good and coming from trauma, like I come from trauma. I come from a childhood, like when I think about it. I come from a childhood of violence. I come from a childhood of death, of seeing death. I come from like like a lot of trauma, right, and I'm realizing that because of that trauma, it's hard for me to be happy. It's hard for me to be in the moment and think that everything's gonna be okay, like me and my wife are like we're we come from nothing and we finally have like stability in our lives more than ever and our daughter's about to go to college and like we're everything. All our bills are getting paid, we're getting extra money. Like it's just like we talked to me and her talked about the other day it.

Speaker 1: 5:11

Sometimes it feels like well, this is all gonna come to an end, you know, like so we gotta keep on working Like we don't wanna get to that point anymore. We don't wanna lose it, all right, and I'm nowhere near where I wanna be. But I'm stable, like right now I'm traveling in a Prius. Well, I'm traveling in a Prius. That's my commuter is a Prius. Right now, I want my commuter to be a fucking porous, that's what I want my commuter to be. But, yeah, I want those extra things. But I'm stable, like everything's fine, I have freedom.

Speaker 1: 5:58

I really do Like I really have freedom in my life right now. Like I wake up, like I wake up doing whatever the fuck I want and going after what I want. And if things are like today, like this morning I've been going hard, I've been like grinding it out, and today I was just fucking drained. I was just tired and I said you know what? I'm not gonna do shit this morning, I'm just gonna relax. It's great. It's like, yeah, I'm just gonna relax. And it was even hard for me to do it and I fucking just relaxed and but I have freedom and I'm happy for that. You know, I'm really am. I really am happy because that's all I've ever wanted, especially with the brain I have. The brain I have is is.

Speaker 1: 7:04

It's so defiant, like I want to rebel against everything you know, like I want. I don't want it to do. I don't want to go the normal way with things, even when I was in school, like I don't learn the same way everybody else learns, right, and and I, I need that freedom. If I don't have that freedom, then I'm very unhappy. And to be able to live life on my terms right now, my own boss and my own schedule, feels fucking good. I am nowhere where I want to be, but it feels good to be stable, right, and I've heard it, I've heard it before with the people I've talked to like you're a very positive person, jesse.

Speaker 1: 8:02

I'm not like, I guess like from the podcast and if you've been listening for a while, I I look at the bright side of things, yes, but I'm not, I'm not to like it always feels like I'm doing bad. It always no matter if I do like, like when I was fighting, when I was, when I was. That was what five years ago now. Yeah, five years ago, when I, when I was 28, when I took the leap and just decided to go like all in on it, dude, I was looking back, I was I for where, for where I started and where I started and how old I was, and I did something pretty fucking crazy, right Like of how good I got in a small amount of time and during the moment I felt like I sucked, I fucking sucked, like during the fighting, during the practice, like during in the moment, like I felt like I was worthless. It was.

Speaker 1: 9:23

It was such like I had no confidence as a fighter. I had no confidence. Looking back at it, I should have had all the confidence of the world because I should have been proud of myself, of what I was doing, because and it's like like I should have said hey, jesse, like you're, you're doing fucking awesome. If I would have as an athlete, if I would have had confidence, then I would have been that much better. But I didn't see the.

Speaker 1: 9:55

What I was doing was incredible. That's why, like when I would, when I'd be, when I was coaching, I would tell people that we're fighting and that we're, that we're committing to to a fight or or trying to get better at a martial art. I would tell them what you're doing is amazing. What you're doing is incredible because not that many people are doing it, so it is already incredible. And it's like because I didn't believe in myself because I didn't have that in my head. I wanted to make sure other people knew. Right, because, looking back, I'm, I'm fighting and I'm I'm committing to the grind of, of of training. Right, I don't have anybody around me and I'm I'm traveling an hour to an hour and a half to go get, to go get training, to go get sparring partners. I'm I'm sacrificing money, family, sacrificing everything and I'm spending six hours at the gym, six hours, five to six hours a day, training, running three miles a day. Like that takes commitment.

Speaker 1: 11:14

And you look back at that and in the moment, I didn't think I was doing great, I didn't think I was doing anything amazing. I forgot why I brought this up, but I just like I hope if you are doing something right now, if you're doing something and you're trying to go after your goals and your passion, just that step, if you're just thinking about it, you're doing something great, you're doing something amazing. And if you don't, if you don't take the time out of your day to to appreciate that, then it's not worth it. It's not you're doing it wrong. I'm not saying to sit and dwell on it and and talk about it and and and stop what you're doing. I'm just saying give yourself a pat on the back, because this shit is hard.

Speaker 1: 12:04

Like doing stuff on your own, it's fucking hard, especially if you're like you're a visionary or somebody that's that's stepping into something they've that their family's never done, stepping into something that that people have told you that that why would you do that? Like that, that right there, even a failure or success, just doing that. It's fucking incredible and you've got to give yourself a pat on the back. That's why now, sorry guys, if you're watching, the camera keeps on falling. If you're listening, I keep on stopping because I have to fix the camera. I'm going downhill right now but uh, but yeah, like that's why now I give myself credit because what I'm doing it's fucking crazy, it's fucking amazing. And I have to do that because if I don't, I start dwelling on what success and failure is. I have to tell myself give myself a pat on the back Because of all the trauma that I've been through, my mind starts to go to negativity and it starts to say, like why do you deserve this?

Speaker 1: 13:25

Look at where you come from, look at what you look at. Like no, knock on my, my dad, but a lot of it has to become because of a father figure, and that moment of my mom passing like the person that I would have to go to is. It's kind of like breaking down, like putting me down on stuff, like I doubt with abuse, I doubt with with physical and and fuck, sorry guys, my fucking camera. I doubt with physical and and verbal abuse, you know, and because of that that's where my mind goes. Sorry again, the cameras, the cameras falling, and I'm doing this in the car. So that's where my mind goes. So I have to.

Speaker 1: 14:22

Now, as an adult, I'm I'm regularly telling myself you're doing a fucking good job. The positive thinking and the positive talking is is there. When as a 20 year old, early in my twenties, I did it, even late in my twenties, I didn't talk positive to myself. And I'm starting to do that as I get older, even through failure. Like I love fucking failure. Now I love failure. Does it feel good in the moment? No, but now I understand. If I'm failing, I'm fucking growing. I'm fucking growing. People are like you got to think of reps If I'm going back to martial arts or if I'm going back to like you got to think of reps. If you're putting in reps. You're constantly fixing it. You're constantly fixing it Rep after rep after rep.

Speaker 1: 15:18

The failures are so small when it comes to to drilling stuff. It could be anything, it could be Jiu Jitsu, it could be business, it could be any, like the little drilling part, the drill. Like when you're an artist, like you're constantly drilling and painting, like you're focusing on drawing fingers, focusing on drawing hands, constantly doing it, but you're failing and failing and failing and learning. The failures are so small that you don't notice them, that you really don't notice them and you're constantly fixing it. But sometimes in life the failures are huge. Like the failures in life are a lot bigger and feel a lot more weighted. Like I look at failures just how I look at the when, like I see them as drilling them. I don't see them as these huge things anymore.

Speaker 1: 16:13

It fucking sucks, like when I, when I get, when I get, put my hope in my, in all my eggs and one basket and I have hope and I I'm like hoping for something to happen and it doesn't. It fucking sucks. It feels like fucking shit. But now I understand that there's learning from it and it it's sort of like I'm living. I'm fucking living and I'm getting through this shit, you know, and it it's cool, and I think most people are afraid to do that, most people are afraid to put themselves out there and fail and like I've had multiple family members like what are you doing, jesse? Like what are you doing? Like, honestly, I'm just happy, I'm happy. I'm happy, I'm happy doing what I'm doing, I'm happy trying to figure this all out, this podcasting, this photo booth thing, social media thing and just enjoying my life.

Speaker 1: 17:29

Like I'm tired of doing things I don't like to do. I want to do things I want to do and get paid for them. Like I want to go see the world. How am I going to go see the world if I don't even have a thought of going to see the world? You know what I mean. Like I want to fucking see the world. I don't know anybody in my immediate family. I don't know anybody in my family that's gone to a lot of countries. I want to go do that. I want to do that. I want to go see the world. I want to go get perspective. I want to see the lows of the lows of the world and the highs of the highs of the world. I want to see all of it and it just comes from repetitive, repetitive going after it, repetitive, just drilling and drilling and drilling.

Speaker 1: 18:22

What I mean by drilling is like constantly figuring out how to do it. How am I going to do this? How am I going to travel? How am I going to get this podcast going? Because I'm a one man team and I didn't know anything. Like looking back at how far I've come with the podcast and like constantly doing something with it every day, like watering my knowledge every fucking day. If I keep on doing that and looking how far I've come, where will I be?

Speaker 1: 18:57

There's sometimes where I just like fuck, I'm fucking fed up, I dropped the computer, I dropped my phone for about a week or two weeks. I'm like I'm fucking done with this. But then I have a realization of to keep going, to wanting to keep going, wanting the podcast to work and wanting all my dreams and my passions to work. But there's one thing I have to keep in mind is that if it doesn't work out, am I still happy? If this, if all else fails, if I'm just at the end of this, like when I die I failed, am I okay with that? I got to tell my sis. Yes, yes, because myself. Yes, because I enjoy the process. I enjoy doing this. I enjoy trying to figure this out. I don't. I shouldn't compare myself to anybody, and that's very hard. It's not to compare yourself to everybody. There's so many people to compare myself to, but I'm just one person on me. I'm doing this by myself. I shouldn't compare myself to anybody else and I should enjoy the process. I don't know if anybody else thinks like that, but that's just me. How long have I been talking? I think I'm going to go for 30 minutes today, guys, but yeah, I got 10 more minutes. Yeah, guys, I'm on 152 right now and it's.

Speaker 1: 20:24

This whole thing has been a fucking journey. You know, I want there's so there's like there's so many things I want to tell you guys that I don't want to put out there yet. Like meaning what I want to do, what are my dreams and what are my goals, like, like, one of my goals is just to get my daughter to four year UC. She has one more year, she has the good enough grades, as she's doing, and getting her there Like that's like you know how, like that's like my number one goal right now. Like if that would happen and me and my wife had dinner we went to the dust bowl yesterday and turn a lot, but we were having dinner and we're like and I told her how fucking crazy that would be of where we come from and someone coming out of our house fucking going to a UC. I'd be fucking happy Now if she didn't go. And she decided she told me like hey, I want to travel, I want to go do this. I would definitely support her on doing it, but if she gets into a UC, like that's fucking incredible, like that's, that's awesome.

Speaker 1: 21:44

You know, because, like me, going to high school, like I remember I was, I was fucking dumb, I really was like it was like people like don't call yourself dumb. It was like, no, I was I, I, I, yes, I was distracted by what was going on in my life, but I didn't figure out. Like if I don't like it, if I'm not having fun with it, then I don't care about it, and it fucking diminishes me or it makes me and I become so unmotivated in it that I'm hindering myself of not learning. And that's what happened in school. I just shut off, I shut off and didn't want to do all that stuff and I would see her go, no matter what time of day it is, no matter if she had other things going on and she needed to to, to stay up late to do her homework or to study. Like watching her go is is so inspirational, just to see somebody that's.

Speaker 1: 22:50

We're not pushing her to to be the best, we're not pushing her to excel in school, we're just wanting her to. I don't know like we want her to do her best. Like do her best and she's. She's doing really good, which is super cool. I don't know. I like I'm proud of her, but that's one of my goals. And another is to fucking is to buy a second house by the time I'm 35. That's in three years or two years. Yeah, by the time I'm 35, buy a second house. Like that's the goal. Like I I think me and my wife can, like I want to rent out the house that we have now and fix it up and and rent it. Fix it up, rent it out and then buy a smaller house, summer house. We don't know if we're going to stay in California, but that that'd be pretty cool.

Speaker 1: 23:56

Like I, my parents worked their asses off really, really hard, right, and they worked their asses off and I see that and I want to be better than them. Because of they, they worked their butts off. You know, I like growing up I wish they would have owned something. I wish they would have, like bought property or or something. You know, I grew up knowing, knowing that my parents were renting from my grandma, like I don't know, as a young kid even as a young kid, it wasn't anything like somebody told me or or somebody made fun of me, but as a young kid I remember like why do my parents like, like I wanted them to own, like I wanted us to have our own house?

Speaker 1: 24:54

I think it's because they sent me to a better school. Like they didn't send me to the school next to me, which was in the east side, and they drove me and made me commute to another school on the I guess technically I don't even know it's the nicer side, but it's evergreen. They sent me to an elementary, elementary schools over there and schools over there, and I had a lot of friends and I played sports with a lot of friends that had really good lives, like I'd go spend the night over their house and they had really good lives, and then I would go back home and I'm like why are we? Why are we living with three families? Why are we living with extra people in our house that are not our families? Why am I like, why am I sharing a room with my brother? Or why why is my room in the living room?

Speaker 1: 25:40

You know, I remember like thinking all those things Like I don't want that, I don't want that, I want, I want better. You know, I want better and that's not positive. That's not me thinking positive. That's me determined Like I don't want to spend my forties. I really want to, like by the time I'm 40, I want to be doing only shit that I like to do, like I want to be so comfortable and everything that I'm doing. I want to be doing shit that I want to be doing and I'm getting paid for it and I'm able to help and fund everybody else's dreams and passions. That's what I want to do Right now.

Speaker 1: 26:28

I'm trying to sponsor fighters and I'm trying to build up to it and any extra money I got I'm going to give to these fighters Like I want you guys have no idea of how much passion and love I have for martial arts and, to put it on the back burner that I like I have, like I really have. I've been trying to go to Jiu Jitsu, mma, martial arts every time I got time. But I put it on the back burner because what I'm doing, I know that I'm able to get a from a year from now I'm going to be able to support my passion for martial arts and that's something I have in my head that there's so much I want to do with it, but I can't even talk about it because I'm not even close to it. Right, I'm not even close to what I how. I want to delve in the martial arts world Because that's like my true passion, like I'm taking a break from it, but I do want to get back into it, not fighting, but just into the world, because I love the story, the stories and fighting. I love the actual process of fighting. I love the strategy of fighting. I love it all.

Speaker 1: 27:46

Like when I was coaching, I fucking loved it. Like I would sit and I would watch video, like no one even fucking told me to do this. Like I was coaching amateur fighters. I wasn't getting paid like a crazy amount, but I was coaching amateur fighters that weren't fighting at a high level and I'm fucking trying to figure shit out 24 seven right now. That's part of my fucking problem is that when I dive into something, I dive into it too much and the balance between family life and the passion for the thing I'm diving into it goes. It goes crazy. Right, it goes fucking crazy and and I do want to get back to that. I do want to fucking get back to that.

Speaker 1: 28:38

I don't know, I guess it's just the rant, guys, about what I've been up to, but I love you guys. Like, if you guys haven't subscribed, this is a lot different from what I usually do, but go check out faceless interview guys and then check out the other ones after that and make sure to subscribe if you're listening. Subscribe on audio podcast, subscribe on YouTube, follow the Instagram the hassle of hair. Put a review on anything that we're able to put a review on. Just do something to support the podcast. If you've made it all the way through, like, share all that stuff, something you know and and yeah, I'm going to keep going. You guys, again, I tell you something, if you know, my mom told me never lose your heart. So never lose your heart. I love you guys. Have a great day, peace.